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Wrestling With My Inner Critic

Hey everyone, as always, I love sharing my thoughts with you all, and I hope you walk away from each newsletter with a piece of wisdom, inspiration, or at least a smile as you start the week. Today, I want to share a special moment from last week that was a full circle moment for me and over 10 years in the making. Let’s dive in!

I still remember like it was yesterday when I visited Google’s main campus in Mountain View for the first time. I immediately was in awe of the sprawling campus and could barely contain my excitement.

During my first few months at Google, my friends and family would constantly ask me if it was like the movie “The Internship” with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn (the movie came out the weekend before I started my job). I would always chuckle as I was based out of Ann Arbor, Michigan and wouldn’t move to Mountain View until January 2014.

Once I arrived on campus in 2014, I felt a moment of excitement but fear as well:

The Googleplex is amazing but it will be a long time before I ever feel comfortable presenting here.

You have a long way to go before anyone ever invites you to present here!

My Heart Would Be Pounding

Those previous words would stay with me for many years and even linger with me to this day. To say I was nervous presenting in front of others would be an understatement, with my anxiety often amplified by the relentless chatter of my inner critic. Every tremor in my voice or tripping over words felt like a personal failure, intensifying my fear of judgment and criticism:

They see right through you. They know you don’t belong here. You’re doing terrible right now.

It felt like my mind was racing and I was on a rollercoaster with everything in front of me being sped up.

However, after years of presenting I realized that I was being overwhelmed by the larger moment. It would take a long time for me to even admit that I was wrestling with this inner critic (why be vulnerable), but I ultimately found that by tackling this challenge and breaking down my preparation into smaller, manageable steps, things not became manageable but exciting. For many years, I practiced regularly, sought feedback from supportive friends, and focused on the value of my message rather than the fear of making mistakes.

Reframing My Inner Critic

Over time, I learned to reframe my nervousness as excitement and even went as far as embracing the imperfections as part of my growth. By acknowledging and addressing my inner critic with self-compassion and confidence, I gradually transformed my anxiety into a source of motivation, making each presentation a step forward in overcoming my fears.

Lastly, one of the key strategies that helped me overcome my anxiety about presenting was learning to slow things down. Initially, my nerves made everything feel like a blur—thoughts raced, my heart pounded, and I struggled to articulate my points clearly.

To counteract this, I began by doing the opposite of what I was familiar with, such as drinking multiple cups of coffee before a presentation OR listening to music that was supposed to get me hyped up.

I started to practice pausing between points to collect my thoughts and focused on speaking at a measured pace. During rehearsals, I recorded myself to identify areas where I could slow down and improve clarity. By consciously slowing my speech and allowing myself time to think, I felt more in control and less overwhelmed. This approach not only helped me deliver my presentations more effectively but also gave me the confidence to handle unexpected moments with composure. Embracing the rhythm of a slower pace transformed my anxiety into a structured, manageable process, making public speaking a far less daunting task.

Which brings me to last Monday, where I had an opportunity to present at a fintech summit hosted by my incredible colleagues based in Latin America at the Googleplex. Walking onstage, I felt motivated and that I belonged. I started with a quick joke to ease my anxiety and immediately felt comfortable in front of a group I had never met before (it didn’t hurt that I was presenting on a subject that I was extremely passionate about: startups and Q2 trends).

Even at times when I felt a little anxious, I took a pause and immediately felt myself slowing down while enjoying the moment. Attendees were engaged and asked questions through the presentation which raised my confidence even further. I remember immediately walking off stage and smiling as something that once felt so scary now felt so rewarding and exciting. It is a moment I won’t soon forget…

Until next time ✌️

Michael Carney

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